Sunday, April 03, 2005


Traffic jams in Arundel

I was down at Arundel this afternoon enjoying the sun. I strolled by the river and indulged in a little light mousing in the castle grounds.

The only thing which spoilt the day was the traffic. Every road into the town was jampacked with cars, many of them the most expensive models. Tempers rose in the warm spring sunshine and the drivers started hitting one another with their electronic organisers and rolled up copies of the Sunday Telegraph.

While all this was going on I noticed several ragged figures weaving their way to the front of the queue on rickety bicycles.

I asked a local tabby what was going on, and she replied that every ambitious Tory in the country was descending on the place in the hope of winning the nomination now that Howard Flight has been grounded by his party leader.

And the cycling tramps? It seems that they were former Tory MPs who lost their seats in 1997 and had been living under motorway bridges while attempting to get back into the House of Commons ever since.

I hear you asking why Howard Flight was sacked. As a special service to my readers I present a transcript of what he said (thank you to the BBC). If you have kittens, make sure they look away now, for this is what he said:

The potential for getting better taxpayer value is a good bit greater than the James findings [which have been] 'sieved' for what is politically acceptable and what is not going to lose the main argument ... Everyone on our side of the fence believes passionately that it will be a continuing agenda.
I'm not impressed that Michael Howard sacked him so much as impressed that he understood a word of what Flight was on about.

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